Emit

Harry: Let's play a game. Let's think of words that are one word backwards and another word forwards.
Kester: I'm not sure I know any words like that.

2 minutes later...
Harry: Hey dad, isn't emit a word?
Kester: Yes...aaaand backwards it's time.
Harry: Right.
Kester: Well, it happened; you are officially smarter than me.

1000 Years Ago

Harry: Mom, how would things be different if we lived 1000 years ago?
Rachel: For one thing, your dad and I would probably be dead.

Magnetism

Harry (being followed around by a younger kid at a birthday party): It's like I'm a refrigerator and he's a magnet!

5 Times. Real Fast.

Harry: (fast and monotone) I-am-way-bigger-than-a-tater-tot, I-am-way-bigger-than-a-tater-tot, I-am-way-bigger-than-a-tater-tot, I-am-way-

Rachel: Are you saying you're bigger than a tater tot?

pause

Harry: Yeah. It's the world's hardest tongue twister. I made it up. I-am-way-bigger-than-a-tater-tot, I-am-way-bigger-than-a-tater-tot, I-am-way-bigger-than-a-tater-tot.

Listening

Harry: Can I have some of those chips?

Rachel: (as she closes the bag of chips) Yes.

Harry: (looking from the closed bag to Rachel) Are you even listening to me?

Harry Makes Up Another Joke

Harry: Hey dad, what email account does Darth Vader use?

Kester: I don't know.

Harry: (in a slow heavy breathing voice) Yaaa...hoooo

Harry Makes Up A Joke

Harry: Hey dad, where do cds go on vacation?

Kester: I don't know.

Harry: Mixico.

Just Skip! (Conversations Classics: Harry, age 3)

Harry: Hey dad, can you go to the next song please?

Kester: Sure

pause

Harry: Hey dad! Go to the next song please.

Kester: I am.

pause

Harry: Dad! Go to the next song please!!

Kester: Harry, I am!

Harry: Just skip. Skip to the next song.

Kester: Harry, this is a tape. I can't just skip.

Harry: What!? What are you talking about?! Just skip!!

Pretty Weird

This afternoon, Harry and I watched a video of my sister, Brie, claiming to be the real Lady Ga Ga...

Kester: Huh.

Harry: Yeah.

pause 

Harry: Well...aunt Brie is pretty weird.

You Know Everything

Harry: What's a four letter word for glove?

Kester: Mitt?

Harry: How do you know everything!?

Grandpa Smell

Last week, Rachel found men's deodorant on sale; a different brand from the one I usually wear, with a musky "Old Spice" smell. The first day I wore it, Harry hugged me and said:

Ew. Dad, you smell like a grandpa.

Bees

Harry: True of false; bumblebees' nests die out at the end of each summer?

Kester: Uh...I don't know...false?

Harry: True! Man, you know next to nothing about bees.

Love and Truth

Rachel: I love this game.

Harry: Loving a person is good, loving a video game is gross.

Rachel: Hey, that's pretty good.

Harry: I just now made it up, so it might not be true.

Who Says?

Harry: Simon says...
Kester: I don't listen to what Simon says.
Harry: OK, Harrison says...
Kester: I don't have to do what Harry says.
(pause)
Harry: I know! Rachel says...

Did You Hear That?

Harry: Did you hear that?

Kester: No.

Harry: You're going to smell it in a second.

0 Comments

Harry (looking over my shoulder at my blog): All your things have zero comments...I guess they're not good.

Mom's Job

Kester: Hey, why are you just sitting here? I thought I told you to clean. (jokey giant voice) In fact now I want you to CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE!

Harry: That's mom's job.

Kester: (looking from Harry to Rachel and back) Ohhh...son...nooooo

The Smiths

Harry: When I get really good at the piano, you and me should start a band.

Kester: Sounds good. What will we call it?

Harry: The Smiths!

Kester: I think that one's already taken.

Harry: By WHO?!

Calvin and Garfield

The following took place as Harry looked at Presidents of the United States cards

Harry: Dad! Two different Presidents were named after cartoons; Calvin (Coolidge) and Garfield!

(pause)

Harry: Dad! This one is like a red nosed reindeer and a car was President (Gerald Rudolph Ford)!

(pause)

Harry: Dad! This one is like a monkey was President (George W. Bush)!

Kester: Aaah...no comment.

Weightless Thumb?!

Harry: Weightless thumb? (giggle) Weightless thumb?! (laugh) Weightless thumb!?!
Rachel: Why do you keep saying "weightless thumb"?

(pause)

Harry: Just don't worry about it.

I'm Dreaming

Kester: We need to think of something we can do about the Zilker closing.
Rachel: There's a petition online we can sign and a meeting this week.
Harry: I can go up to one of the people closing Zilker and say, "Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?!" and then say "Zilker" and they'll say "We can't close this school, this kid loves it too much."

(pause)

Harry: This is what I'm dreaming will happen.

Dumb Children

Harry: This says "Keep away from children"

Rachel: That's because children might hold the plastic up to their face and suffocate.

Harry: Oh...keep away from dumb children.